this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
