dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
