the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
