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At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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