google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
