They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
