That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
