Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
barbara walters just said penis...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
