Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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