so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
