I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
