champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
