Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
