Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
