before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
