What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do herpes really smell.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
