16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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