Duck Duck Cougar?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
