i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
