every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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