I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
