Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
