Your face is a jimmy john
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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