Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
