Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Porn is love you can see.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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