ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
this hospital has no fireball
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
