Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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