What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
