I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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