i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
