That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
