I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
