dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
