Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
