i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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