Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
