im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm both gender and math confused
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
