I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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