I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
