I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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