I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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