nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
