remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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