Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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