There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
