I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
