shes about as inviting as chlamydia
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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