i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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