they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
