no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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