i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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