Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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